The Pancake is a Lie
by Unolai
Summary: Something Wicked Sidefic, can be read seperately. Cooking class and Jaiden....There's no way this can end well. One-shot. Random!Title.


**Prince Elmo:** This started out as a new scene in Something Wicked 2.0, but then I found out it was over 1,000 words long, so....Side fic! Someone, who's name isn't important enough to remember, once suggested that I wrote more High School scenes, so here it is.

Yes, people, I'm revising Something Wicked, because there are too many things that bother me.

**I own NOTHING!**

**Kurama:** It's true, you know.

**Prince Elmo:** Shut up and read, princess!

* * *

"Welcome, students, to the greatest adventure of your young lives. Also known as cooking class!" Mr. Ramsay, middle-aged and quite on the large side, strolls through the door and greets the class with an exaggerated flourish of his hands.

You smile at his almost homosexual manners, while swinging your legs back and forth. Mr. Ramsay has always been your favorite teacher. He acts gay, he knows he acts gay and doesn't care if people see him while at it.

The classroom you're currently in, is in fact not a classroom, but a very large kitchen. The cabinets and most of the surfaces are coated with aluminium, so everything looks nice and shiny. It's also filled with several rows of counters, a large amount of sinks and lots of expensive looking appliances.

So many things to break, you don't know where to begin!

For lack of chairs, you and several of your classmates have taken a seat on one of the counters. Thankfully, Mr. Ramsay is always okay with that. Shuuichi is standing right next to you, while the other guys had the luck of finding a chair.

"It's nice to see some new faces," the heavy-set teacher continues, giving the guys a smile and a friendly nod. "- And perhaps a little less nice to see some older ones." To which he gives you a quick, sour glance that you answer with an enthusiastic wave.

And accidentily knock over a large stack of pans, that clatter to the ground with more noise you've known to be possible in this dimension. "....Oops...."

"....Right, since this is the first day we can use the kitchen again, we will start out slow. Today, we'll be baking pancakes!" He pauses at the loud cheers coming from his students. "Please pair up, grab an apron and your ingredients and I will eplain how to make the mixture."

In a flurry of movement, you find yourself alone with the new guys, who are looking as surpised as you are. Everybody ran to find a partner and have gathered around the closet to pick out an apron.

"Well, that's just rude." You frown at their backs, annoyed at the lack of enthusiasm for the fact that they could quite possibly team up with you. You're a fun person, teaming up with you is just plain fabulous.

In your opinion, that is.

With an exaggerated roll of your violet eyes, you turn your head to look at Kurama. If he's a genius at Chemistry, he can't be bad at cooking. But he gives you an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I promised Kuwabara."

He gently pats your slumped shoulder, before leaving to join his partner. Jumping off the counter, you happily skip over to Yusuke. "Guess it's just you, me and the Spawning of Various Evil Things, my friend!"

He narrows his brown eyes in a suspicious glare. "Why doesn't anybody want to team up with you....? I thought you were reasonably popular."

You give a one-shouldered shrug. "Suspicious isn't a good look for you, you know.....I don't know, I love to cook!" You exclaim at his continued stare, throwing your hands in the air in frustration.

After grabbing his arm in a firm grip, you drag him up from his chair and over to the closet. "Now hurry up! If we're not quick enough, all the good aprons will be gone!"

A few moments later, you're both standing behind a counter at the very back, wearing frilly aprons with a very psychotic-looking floral print on them.

"Told you so."

Yusuke's reply never comes, as Mr. Ramsay begins to explain how to mix everything together. "Now add the milk, butter and the eggs and stir until you get a smooth mixture -- No, Jaiden, the eggs are already dead, they don't need additional stabbing." He eplains at your raised hand.

"Damn."

As the teacher trails off ranting about the value of mixing everything by hand, you thoughtfully nod your head and stop listening. While Yusuke does all the work.

"I thought you loved to cook!" Comes his angry voice.

You give him a bright smile. "Oh, but I do! But you seemed to be on a roll here, I didn't want to break your concentration."

He mutters something under his breath in response, but you're too busy going through the cabinets to care. With an enthusiastic swing of your arm, you whip out a large frying pan. And proceed to have a mock-fencing-contest with your shadow. Until you almost knock Yusuke unconsious, who wrenches the pan out of your hands.

"I see that everyone is ready, so grab a frying pan! Add a little bit of butter to the pan - not that much, Daisy! - and then add one scoop of mixture to the pan. Make sure to spread it out as well as you can. When you're done, bring your pancakes to my office, so I can grade your work." Mr. Ramsay turns to leave, but stops in mid-step.

"Oh, and another thing: under no circumstance are you allowed to flip your pancake in the air to turn it over."

"Houston, we've got a problem...." You mutter quietly to yourself, while eyeing your pancake that's wetly attached to the ceiling.

Putting the pan back on the fire as quietly as possible, you glance around the kitchen. Everybody is engrossed with their own cooking and the only part of Yusuke you can currently see, is his behind sticking out of a cabinet.

The good thing about having a spot in the back, is that no one sees you screw up.

"Right....I have no idea how it got there!" You quickly scurry off to the bathroom, leaving Yusuke looking bewildered.

Half an hour later, you're happily bouncing out of Ramsay's office, with Yusuke at your side.

"An A-, wooooo! I rock my socks!" You do a little dance on the spot, while dumping the dirty pans into the sink.

After removing his psychotic apron, the detective scowls darkly at you. "You rock?? I'm the one who did all of the work! I should -- Yuck!!"

His great rant of injustice is promptly interrupted, as your pancake decides that this is a good moment to come down from the ceiling, only to land on Yusuke's head with a very wet splat.

"So....Now do you understand who no one wants to team up with me?"

"Yes, I do."

**Prince Elmo:** Based on, and I love to say it, true events! 8D


End file.
